Moving Rumination to Reflection – it is possible.

Gurumba bigi– Hello!

Have you noticed the blue in the sky this week? I saw some fantastic blue sky today, and it made me smile.

Last week's blog on Reflection vs. Rumination led to some great people contacting me for further discussion on the emotions we feel when we ruminate and get stuck dwelling on past stories.

This led to a curious person asking the question of how we could move our minds from rumination to a reflective moment to promote our learning from the story we are ruminating. The group had some ideas to share, which led to thinking about our emotions when we ruminated. 

Understanding what emotions we feel when we ruminate can assist us in moving forward to learn what is important about the moment we are stuck in. We can break it down and find answers that can teach us more about the human we are. 

Firstly we need to know more about emotions and listen to how we feel. Theories of emotions are extensive, and the literature discusses four basic (primary) feelings as being:-

• Happiness
• Sadness
• Fear/surprise
• Anger/Disgust

Complex emotions or secondary emotions are made up of two or more basic emotions. Secondary emotions are complex as they do not come automatically as primary emotions do. They are learned/influenced through familial or social influences. For example, if a person was reprimanded as a child every time they were sad and cried, they may feel shame or fear for feeling sad and wanting to cry later in life.

Therefore it is vital that when we reflect, we isolate/name the feeling and name the emotion/s and decide how to resolve the feeling and move forward. For example, jealousy is a complex emotion that is anger combined with fear, while fear, anger, and disgust make up the complex emotion of hate.

If you are stuck in complex emotions such as hate, you will need to sit down and write out what has stimulated the fear (what were you afraid of)? The anger (what made you so angry – was it the injustice? –can be significant if you are highly justice driven in your values/family/culture). Finally, what was so disgusting to you? Write this out – dot points are fine. What are you finding that helps your understanding? What do you notice/feel good about as you see a new perspective of your feeling/s and emotions?

This emotion dissection will often bring surprising insight and be very cathartic to support you in knowing what to do next. You can untangle the emotions and empower yourself to resolve the space you have held yourself in.

There is so much more to read on this topic, and my blog goal was to inspire you to read more. Make time to have a look at Fully Human by Steve Biddulph . "Chapter 4 – Emotions and How They Power Your Life" is a great read to add to your tool kit to understand primary and secondary feelings. If you are on the self-development path, it is another perspective to grow you towards your best version of self. 

Other sources of thinking on this topic are listed in the reference list below.

If you would like to talk more about this, Let's Talk! https://www.coachedbysue.com.au/

Be the 'The Master of your Destiny'!

We only get this life now – make it the best one for you 😊

      Sue

Health and Wellness Coach  Life Coach   Communication Educator   Lead Mentor 
 

Director – Coached by Sue

References

Betterhelp, What Are Primary And Secondary Emotions. July 19, 2022 by Nadia Khan. What Are Primary And Secondary Emotions | BetterHelp

Mindvalley, What Are Primary Emotions? Learn to Understand Your Instincts. April 18, 2019 by Irina Yugay What Are Primary Emotions? Learn to Understand Your Instincts (mindvalley.com)

SciNews, Only Four Basic Emotions Exist, Researchers Say. February 3, 2014 by University of Glasgow's Institute of Neuroscience and Psychology. http://www.sci-news.com/othersciences/psychology/science-four-basic-emotions-01742.html

YouTube, Willingness: How to Feel your Feelings 6/30 How to Process Emotions. March 19, 2021 by Therapy in a Nutshell. (19:43) https://youtu.be/6cFhhUuMEW8

YouTube, Primary Emotions vs. Secondary Emotions - Skill 7/30 How to Process Emotions. March 26, 2021 by Therapy in a Nutshell. (15:54) https://youtu.be/Yqi7jp6tKZI